Oprah is Lindsay's new "life coach"? New music from Britney! Teresa Giudice going to jail for 50 years? Miley's new album title is gross! P.S.-What is happening to Megan Fox's Face?!
Lindsay Lohan supposedly will do "everything that Oprah Tells her" to do after recently emerging from her court ordered stay in a California Rehabilitation
center. A source close to Linz, (or "cokehan" as I use to call her back in her wild days, guess I'm gonna have to retire that one... for now at least) was quoted as saying-
"She is doing EVERYTHING Oprah tells her to do. She really wants to get back to a normal life, and not being around negative people".
I have always felt its kind of funny that people think of Oprah as some "all-knowing" god or gift from the heavens, like Oprah could touch people and heal their blindness... or Oprah could high five a kid in a wheelchair and then he'd cartwheel from his chair and tap dance down the street... While yes, Oprah is magical, I don't know if she's the "Deity" that folks make her out to be... but I confess I'm a fan, there have been many a day spent crying and gorging myself on carbs while watching her especially touching episodes. Side note, did y'all ever see the one where Oprah had on a woman who wrote Faith Hills album??? Then they flew in Faith to meet her? And the lady said something to the affect of that writing the album for Faith kept her from committing suicide?!?! I was crying like a kid at toys R us throwing a tantrum for new toys, so was Faith, so was the lady, and so was Oprah... anyway... enough about that... I'll be watching Oprah's supposedly "explosive" Interview with Miss Lohan on Oprah's network premiering on August 18th.. and PS I'm still holding out for a "Life Size 2" from Lohan and Tyra Banks.... it was truly both of their best work- even the theme song was magical (which I have on my ipod, damn I'm immature)... "shine bright shine far, be a star!"
New music on the way from Britney!
Britney was seen yesterday going into a recording studio in Los Angeles, will.i.am's studio that is. Does this mean we will get a "Scream and Shout" part 2?!?!? Cause not gonna lie, when that song comes on at the club, I pretty much look like I'm having a seizure on the dance floor.. but still trying to do bedroom eyes to anyone watching of course.... I don't care how crazy Brit is, what she does, or what she wears, I love this biotch's music... Anyone who knows me could always tell when I had indulged in one two many cocktails over the last ten years, cause that's when I would literally start threatening the DJ that if Britney Spears wasn't played I was going to "burn down the trailer" they lived in... What can I say, I love shakin this tush to some B. Spears.. "Til the World Ends" literally makes me explode on the dance floor like a big gay pinata full of glitter and Britney memorabilia...
Teresa Guidice from the NJ Housewieus could be going to the slammer for "50" years!
Teresa and her husband Joe are facing a SLEW of charges including lying about how much money they made on their tax returns, lying about their net assets, and "hiding" assets while claiming bankruptcy. If convicted they are facing up to 50 years in prison! Now, I don't know if yall saw the infamous table flipping "prostitution whore" episode of housewives, if you didn't, I might question our friendship... but, I cant wait til Teresa cops that kind of attitude with one of her cellmates or another inmate at the clink... That biotch, and her CRAZY hairline, will go flying across the prison yard like Dj Jazzy Jeff when Uncle Phil use to chunk him out of the Bank's mansion on "Fresh Prince"... Teresa, I'll be praying for you... and your hairline... ps, I'm pretty sure her husband is a legit caveman, have you seen him on that show, he's terrifying....What is the hell is happening to Megan Fox's mug?!?!
Yall, the fact that she has vehemently denied ANY sort of plastic surgery at this point is BEYOND laughable... Are we supposed to believe that cheekbones sprout up like flowers when you water them? She obviously has had oodles of filler, rhinoplasty, botox out the whazz, peels strong enough to cut through metal, and those lips puffed to high heavens.... I'm not saying she looks bad... but come on Meg, saying you haven't had ANYTHING done? That's like Joan Rivers saying she has never seen the inside of a surgeons office.... Don't go any further baby girl, I thought you were gorgeous on the classic Olsen Twins movie "Holiday in the Sun" where you played the bitchy Brianna Wallace... oh Olsen twins movies... I could watch them for daysssssssss, Our lips are sealed? Billboard Dad? Come on, those are cinematic masterpieces, and have gotten me through many a dark night, speaking of... hmm, I wonder if "Passport to Paris" is on netflix... Note to self, check netflix ASAP...
Miley's new Album will be titled "Bangerz"........ long pause for your obvious confusion and then acceptance...
Miley has released on twitter that the name of her upcoming album will be called "Bangerz".... welp, where do I even begin on this one.... We get it girl, you're edgy, you're "dirty", you're not Hannah Montana anymore (although I wish you were, cause I LOVE that show), BUT come on sista.... we got it, you're grown-up now, you're a rebel, you don't need to keep trying to convince us on that one, it is reading as desperation at this point.. and PS- KEEP YOUR DAMN TONGUE IN YOUR MOUTH! Every appearance, music video, photo shoot, that botch is sticking her tongue out, it's weird, stop it, stop it right now... I long for the days of Hannah... That movie and its soundtrack WILL be buried with me in my casket, and "The Climb" will be played at my funeral... ughhh and that guy from the movie was soooooooooooo hot, like he would go for Miley's bucktoothed country-kitchen grill.. but I digress.. And who the eff am I kidding, I'll be at Target the day that new album comes out to buy it, yes I know, I'm obnoxious, I've been made aware. :)
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